hephaestion2014's blog

I hate getting this question. It's like on a date and you get asked, "what's your favourite music?"

My answer will always be all types, and that sounds like a cop out, a noncommittal even though it is true.

Older, younger, big, thin, tall or small. I'll happily wrestle anyone. Blonde hair, no hair, green hair - come at me bro ;)

But I do have a secret dream opponent. The guy who I'd love to be locked in a matroom with. Just him and me. What does this guy look like?

No idea. It's not the physical that would draw me to this opponent. It's nothing at all about how they look, how they speak or anything like that. It'd be about the animosity.

My dream opponent would be someone who hates me as much as I hate them. Mutual dislike and the ability to get under my skin. A guy who when we square up and slug and fight it out will want to hurt me as much as I deserve, as I do them.

It's a bit like school when you were challenged to a fight in the park at home time. And your heart beat a little faster, maybe the odd nervous butterfly in the stomach. The fight wouldn't be for fun or competition. There'd be no referees or tapouts, just you having to hold your own. Releasing that primal part of yourself that you have to keep down.

Of course, this opponent would just be a dream. I may have the odd bit of banter and trash talk but I am too old to get into this type of fight now. I channel it a bit in my sub matches but it is of course held down, I'm not a psycho.

So that is my dream opponent. No Ethan Axel Andrews, no Skip Vance or Big Daddy but a nemesis.

Wow. Reading this back, it makes me sound a little unhinged. I'm really not.
I'm safe and sane, and as probably anyone who I have wrestled with will tell you, not aggressive enough.

Well, until I find that "dream opponent" ; )

Okay, well am not wrestling this weekend so have been thinking about it instead. And some conversations I have been having about it with some good seasoned wrestlers and some newbies too.

The question that I was asked that inspired this rumination was: does Wrestling hurt?

Well I wasn't sure what to answer at first. As didn't want to put the guy off and didn't want to lie either. So my answer was depends. Depends on the type of wrestling you want to do.

I like subs. Now pain is a part of that. "Hurt not injure". The holds are designed to be uncomfortable/painful so that you have to submit. Its the threat and promise of pain that is a part of subs. Not that it is some masochistic/sadistic game. If you are wrestling someone who knows what they are doing, no hold will be slammed on but eased on. And the guy who is having the hold put on him is in control of the pain. When its too much, he will tap or say I submit and the hold will be released. You may not be in control of the hold applied but for how long it is.

I can't really speak about pro wrestling, my experience is too limited. Of course some holds if really applied will hurt. But a lot of pro is the sell. Punches are pulled etc ...

Then there are the fun roll arounds where it is more erotically orientated, and the scraps where it is more about the aggression and it will hurt.

Its important that if you are entering into a match, and are new that you decide and agree with your opponent what you want before.

I'm more probably the wrong person to ask if it will hurt. I like a little bit of pain :)

And happy to go rougher with people I know well. Ill never go level 10 at first. Like body taps and punches. Go lighter and work up harder. You'll often hear me say, "You can go harder if you like " to some opponents. Because I trust them to be safe, sane and controlled.

But as for the aches and soreness. Wrestling is exercise. And am sure after a good workout, a game of tennis, rugby, soccer or even diving that the muscles will ache and complain the next day. Least you know you have thrown yourself into it :-)

Now off to think how can I be more aggressive ;)

So I will be going to my first ever Grapevine meet this Saturday, and I'm a little nervous.

Now why would that be? I have attended many group meets at Barnet and an OWG meet at Pippas before. If I'm honest, I get nervous before each meet. I guess I am not a natural people person, and am aware that if I get shy ill end up being all quiet or stammer and stutter a lot. But that's manageable, ill burn in shame after about my social awkwardness later. That's usual.

So why all these butterflies about grapevine? I guess it goes back to 1999/2000ish and surfing the net back then and coming across references to Grapevine (and SPFWC too ) These seemed like magical perhaps if I was being pretentious, whatdoya mean "if"?, almost holy places. I never made that leap back then and joined. Only read about them, imagined them and thought "what if/if only" ... So perhaps that's it.

Maybe.

I have also been looking at the names of other wrestlers who might be going. These are people whose profiles and recommendations are amazing. Whose reputations as being good wrestlers precede them. I suppose the less brave part of me hopes they'll already be busy with matches and have no time to take me on but have to admit there is also a part of me that hopes I might get the odd match with one or two. I just hope that if that happens I do okay.

I guess that's where the nerves are coming from. Its pressure that I am putting on myself. I guess I am my own worst opponent.

Funnily enough writing this down has kind of alleviated the butterflies a bit.

Even with the nerves, am really looking forward to Saturday

Had a great group meet. Kind of felt that I had turned a corner.

Did I get lots of taps and win every match, avoid lots of mistakes and become King of the mats?

Nope. Made some silly mistakes, tapped a fair few times and was pleased when at the end of a round that I had survived by not submitting.

So where's that corner that I am supposedly meant to have turned?

Normally at a group meet, in each match, if I did get the opportunity to be on top, id have been lost and tried to stay in defence.

Not this time. Yes, I made mistakes and ended up in armlocks etc, but because I was trying to do something new. I was on the attack :)

That sounds like probably a silly thing to say. I know a lot of you are all on the attack from the beginning. I haven't been. I have not been that comfortable or confident. Not this time. Okay, I suffered for it as left myself open for attacks but that's because I wasn't trying to maintain that deadlock of defence.

The good thing about group meets is that there are always lots of different levels, different skills and different ways to wrestle. Particularly at Barnet, there are lots of guys who are very experienced and learned, so when they say that you are doing better or you have learnt some stuff, actually my chest puffed up a bit with pride.

I guess, I hope that in maybe at some point in the future, ill never be as wise as them but hopefully ill have some knowledge and tips to impart to some newbie and make them feel as welcome down the path of wrestling as I have.

Right, now off to soak in a hot bath. The glorious aches :)

(Also had some great advice from Small Gladiator: Don't talk yourself down.

A lot of the guys I have met have had training in martial arts or combat sports, have lessons and do it far more regularly then I do. Each meet, each match is a lesson for me. So I need to stop comparing myself unfairly and unflatteringly against others and be proud in what I can do. )

Now I know I am forever carping on here about things but have to write and share about what a good time I had at the OWG meet.

Now, I have to admit I was a bit nervous. And I knew it was silly, as although I had not met many of the guys attending, but knew from chatting with them on here in the past, and from reputationsi too, I knew that they were all sound guys.

But there's always that fear of rejection. You'll turn up at the group meet and no-one will want to wrestle you. A bit like picking teams at school, and you are the last one left. I guess a lot of us have this fear.

occasionally, you'll come across a guy at a group meet who doesn't want to wrestle you. And that's fine. All good. It is their right to choose who they want to take on. Am sure if we were all faced with a guy we didn't want to wrestle, we'd all want the right to say no. But that said, we should all worry about those who say yes, more than say no ... But I guess that isn't human nature.

Well long digression aside, at the OWG meet that didn't happen. Think I wrestled everyone except for the odd one or two where the timing never coincided. And that to me is something that will be righted next time. ( Matworker, you and me wrestle early as poss, especially as I have observed your only weakness ;) )

Everyone was really friendly. Got to wrestle with a wrestling legend, and of course all the other guys who were there, who are wrestling legends too. Enjoyed every single match, and if time and my body had been willing, I'd have wrestled with everyone again and again. Never zonked out on a crash mat before.

Just feel guilty in one match that I had towards the end that I wasn't quite as feisty as I usually am, and fear I wrestled like a rootbeer drinker not even a shandy drinker ;)

I learnt some new tips, and tricks. Some that I have remembered even now, and look forward to get trying them out again. So beware.

Though think I will just stay in a hot bath all of tomorrow. Wrestled, fought more today than I probably had all year :)

Glad I went, met many opponents who id like a round two, three.four and five with ... :)